Do You Expect Your Children to Follow in Your Footsteps?
Photo courtesy of Orange Acid.
Post written by Zen Family Habits contributor Suzannah. Follow her on Twitter.
When it comes to schooling, do you expect your children to follow the same path you took?
My husband and I come from different educational backgrounds.
I went through the public school system, and finished university with two degrees. Both of my parents have university degrees.
My husband was homeschooled, and attended a technical college. He was the first in his family to go past the twelfth grade. Still, despite my more formal education, my husband’s longer years of service and experience mean he earns a larger salary than I do.
I see higher education as a means to open doors; my husband sees hard work and experience as more important than formal education.
Despite our preferences, we share aspirations of being able to eschew the 9-to-5 workday, and we hope our children will one day find ways to pursue the freedom of lifestyle we so desire.
Still, there are some important considerations we need to remember when thinking about the future of our children’s education:
1. Just because we do something, doesn’t mean our children should be expected to do the same. We cannot expect our children to attend college or university, just because we did. We should respect the paths our children choose. After all, by the time they decide to pursue those paths, they will be adults, themselves.
2. Just because we choose not to do something, doesn’t mean our children should be expected to do the same. On the other side of the spectrum, I’ve encountered people who look down on formal education. They’ve toiled to get where they are, and they expect their children to hold the same values. Just because we didn’t pursue post-secondary education doesn’t mean our children won’t want to.
3. A successful and comfortable professional life can be obtained by either higher education or work experience. There is no one path to success, and people excel in different areas. Each person will benefit by taking the most appropriate path to achieve his or her goals.
4. The definition of success is subjective. What your children grow to view as ’success,’ might be different from your own views. Your definition of success may include a secure job with a high salary, a big house and a fancy car. Someone else’s definition of success might be freedom of time and personal job satisfaction.
5. Ultimately, we want to see our children happy. Although we might think it would make us happy to see our children follow in our footsteps, if we force them to take a path they wouldn’t otherwise choose, they won’t thank us for it.
When my mother was young, she wanted to be a veterinarian. Her parents had other ideas–they wanted her to take over the family business. To this day, she regrets having acquiesced, and putting aside her educational goals to please her parents.
As a parent, no matter how much I’d like to see my children live up to their full potential, I don’t want to impose on them a lifetime of regret.
What are your wishes for your children’s education?
