Sometimes you don’t understand yours? You don’t think like your father, but you don’t think like your son?
Coexistence is always complex and we all want (need) it to be good. Leopoldo Abbey, gives us clues to make the day-to-day work. Good ideas that he has learned along with his own during his 53 years of marriage and that he also compiled in the Book of Espasa-Calpe, 36 things to do to make a family work well (17,90 €). Leopoldo Abadía, the guru of the economy, teaches us the ‘entanglements’ of his family and how he has cultivated daily that good attitude so necessary to get along. “My family, our family, must reflect my personality, our personality. And my wife and I are different from you and your husband. Each family is different, as we all are, and in their management there are no ‘copiable’things. My family is not a model of order, but an organized chaos,” he explains. But it is a well-conceived chaos and we can all, perhaps not copy, but take note (to see if something sticks to us…).
Work is not a divine punishment: prove it by your example
Parents are a mirror in which children see good and bad. At home, with our attitudes and opinions, you should know that work is a blessing. And more in times of crisis and with a lot of unemployment. They have to see us leave the house, going to work with enthusiasm; not to hear us always criticizing the boss, but to see us happy for what we do (and so we make it easier for ourselves).
|Imagine the scene recounted by Abbey: late afternoon, some children sleep, others have not come home and the little one plays on the carpet. He starts singing: “one of two, I’ll take that woman, or between the three of us we’ll organize, if it can be,” and then: “one of two, I’ll take that woman, or I’ll trade her for two of fifteen, if it can be.” He, shocked, will reproach him, but his wife makes a gesture and says nothing. And there remains something that, perhaps recriminated with little success, could have confused the child even more (he was not aware of the meaning). Conclusion? Only the important must be given importance. The rule? The first is the first, the second is the second and the third is the third (great, huh?).|
Create an atmosphere of optimism
We must flee the pessimists as well as the plague, because they sterilize illusions. And when you run away, you have to do it faster when you get close and you say, “I’m not pessimistic, I’m realistic.” With an apocalyptic approach we maleducate our children, make them less participatory in society, subtract their strength to fight.
People need smiles, and people are all of us. But wide, Frank, cheerful, open smiles. Not rehearsed in the mirror, ‘ put ‘ because it has been read in some self-help book that smiling triumphs in life.We all-absolutely all-have our little battles and comic books, and we want them to listen to us! And, yes, they’re small and insignificant, but they’re ours. The same goes for our children: what they tell us is what interests them, and it is very important for them to feel listened to by their parents. Put your ear, but also your understanding.
Be the day
Our time is this, that we live with our family, friends, acquaintances and so on. Our times are these, and it can’t be that the elders are making life miserable for the young by telling them how everything has been ruined and how good we were a few years ago. We have to be cool: know who the singers are that our children or grandchildren like, but, of course, as far as we want (you don’t have to go to a concert with them to feel involved).
Do not miss occasions to say something affectionate, to congratulate someone for doing something right or to give pleasant news. It is true that doing things the way they are to be done is our duty, but we also need to recognise effort, commitment. Aren’t you frustrated that your work only highlights what doesn’t go well? Has it ever served you any purpose other than to touch you, recriminate yourself in excess, or lose interest? Well, in your house, that’s not the law, let alone the ones you love.It is one of the stages that complicates living together, but if parents act tactfully and delicately, talking when they have to, silencing themselves most of the time, respecting the intimacy-increasingly necessary for them-the children will laugh, cry and get angry at home, but they will know that they are loved and respected. And at this stage that’s very important.Sometimes we turn co-existence into a cockfight and, as a result, we make our lives bitter and bitter to those who have the ‘misfortune’ to live with us. And, most of the time, just nonsense. When ‘storm winds blow’, open the window for them to leave…
I mean, you have to trust them all the time. ’ Always ‘means that ‘in case of doubt,’ what my son says goes to mass ‘ (and that we all know that sometimes they tell us things that no one swallows).
You can say that life is a detail, and the one who does not care for them is lost. The world would fix itself if the billion people who occupy it had so many billions of details with each other. We make life easier. Don’t take anything for granted. I’m sure you love your partner, because you’re with her, but it’s really good that one day you tell her, you put it in one detail… And with your children, the same thing (you will see how they begin to imitate you, and how well it suits you).
- You have to control the tv
The idea of getting home and connecting it before you take off your coat and putting it on until you go to bed, including the time when you’re supposed to be having dinner with your family, is only good for spending electricity, hearing a noise that won’t let you hear what your son or daughter tells you, and swallowing everything they throw at you. If this scene repeats itself day after day, it turns out that the TV is spinning and your partner and your children are waning. Watch TV, but with a head!
- The children have to want to
And that is not only their responsibility, but also their parents ‘ responsibility. He takes note of two rules: a son is never spoken badly in front of his brothers; nor, of course, is he expected to leave a family reunion to make him and his partner Green.
- Ask for forgiveness
Members of a couple also have to ask for forgiveness, because sometimes they may not be treated with the necessary delicacy, and that needs to be corrected. It is something that we often forget and that tarnishes negativity not only to them, but to the whole house (children are a radar).
- Establish standards
Any area is regulated by what is permitted and what is not, by its internal ‘laws’. And a family too. But you must establish them together with yours: my family’s rules need not be the same as yours. What goes well in one home is not what ‘commands’ and cheers another. Set your operating rules (”it doesn’t need to be in writing, because no one would read them, but always set them, ” says Abbey).