Is it hard to raise happy children? In recent decades, and thanks to the change in roles in the figure of women, it is curious to see how a new phenomenon is appearing that could be described almost as “the syndrome of the bad mother“. It is easy to understand and we are sure that more than one of our readers will be identified.
Today’s woman not only aspires to have a good career, to have economic independence, a good couple who understands her, a social group of friends with whom to identify. Within this complex circle, there are also the children. The most important thing in his life, but to those who, in some way, have a clear sense of not dedicating all the time he wants.
Is that when the doubts arise, will I be doing well? What if I’m not treating them enough? What if I’m making a mistake?
All of this sometimes leads them to what is known recently as “bad mother syndrome”.
Today, “motherhood” has ceased to focus exclusively on the figure of women. The roles are more openly shared, and that, no doubt, is very good, but somehow, the mother figure is still seen itself as a pivotal vital in the upbringing. Hence the doubts, hence the worries.
How can we educate happy children in the midst of this demanding society, in which we usually do not have as much time as we should? We give you a number of keys that can help you, whether you’re a parent, educator, or a mother who mistakenly thinks she’s not being a “good mother.”
1. To educate happy children, help them make decisions
You might not be able to spend all the time you’d like. You have a certain work schedule and sometimes, you don’t get home in time to do your homework with them or go for a walk. It doesn’t matter.
However, there is one thing you must avoid. You don’t let them lock themselves in their rooms, don’t let television, computer, or video games “take away” that little time you can share in the best way: talking. Keep with them a daily talk with tranquility and closeness. He knows what his worries are, what his desires are.
If they have a problem, don’t solve it for them, offer them strategies and advice to do it for themselves. In order to educate happy children, we must first ensure that they are responsible for their own affairs, giving them the means with which to deal with these small everyday problems.
Do it with affection, worrying, but offering them autonomy. If they are wrong on occasion, never rebuke or sanctions.
Help them and teach them that there are also failures in life and that everything must be learned. The important concept of “frustration“also needs to be managed.
|2. Give them autonomy within limits
Mother playing, example of how to educate children
Education starts from the “zero” moment of birth, and remember, it’s a two-way thing. The two parents must agree on the educational guidelines to be applied, define what is to be allowed, what schedules to set, what is to be prohibited and what to negotiate.
Children must know from a very young age that at home, as in society, there are limits that we must respect, and the sooner they know it the safer they will feel, because they will know what to stick to at every moment. Once the rules are established, we will offer rights, and all rights are negotiated and discussed.
It is also important that we provide children with appropriate age-appropriate autonomy. It is a way for them to feel capable and confident, always having our support and guidance at every moment.
Always offer them your trust, dialogue before sanctioning, listen to them before rebuking them and speak, speak as much as you can with them. Never be seen as an enemy.
3. Never try to make up for the time you can’t spend with them.
Parents who want to raise happy children playing with them
It is a mistake made by many fathers and mothers today. Not being able to spend as much time with them as we would like, we end up falling into the easy resource to compensate them with a gift, with a toy, with that video game they always ask for, with that tablet, with that mobile… it’s a big mistake.
Children don’t appreciate gifts as much as we think. And more so if we use it as blackmail, because they, in essence, end up very well understanding the strategy. So we must be clear: there is nothing to make up for. Parents work and it’s the usual, everyone in the family has a role and a role, we don’t have to compensate them with “objects” for not being home.
with “quality” of life. As long as you’re with them, always be the best, the most sincere.
So don’t hesitate to do things together with them, to play, talk, Cook, walk… close your phone and laugh with your children, without worrying about whether or not you are the “perfect”father or mother. It doesn’t matter, there are a thousand ways to be a good parent and we’re all good at educating happy children.