Comments on: 6 Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Child’s Life

By: Emily Geizer

Emily Geizer — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:18:38 +0000

Great comments here! They all round the list out nicely.

I do think that the most important thing you can do to change your child’s life is missing, though. It’s understanding your child’s perspective.

This alone will steer all other parenting choices. In fact, study after study has shown that understanding your child’s perspective has a bigger positive impact on your children than most other things you do.

Granted, it is not always easy or intuitive, but I think it is the most important work of parent.

Emily Geizer
http://www.childperspective.com

By: Read to Pop « Fat Daddy, Esq.

Read to Pop « Fat Daddy, Esq. — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:31:03 +0000

[...] came across this post on zenfamilyhabits.net titled 6 Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Child’s Life. I agree with [...]

By: Fat Daddy, Esq

Fat Daddy, Esq — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 19:13:43 +0000

I agree that reading to your children is essential. I think implicit in that is also having them read to you. My daughter just turned five and she is already reading some Dr. Seuss books to me because my wife and I read to her routinely. My daughter’s pre-Kindergarten teacher told us that there are students who not only cannot read, they do not even know how to hold a book. It is sad that there are parents that do not take even a short amount of time everyday to instill reading in their children.

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 13:56:26 +0000

Loved this post! My wife and I have a 10-month old daughter, so some of these rukes don’t apply just yet, but it is definitely good advice for the future.

Something we are trying to do with our youngling is not to say “No” and instead saying “uh uh” or calling her name in a tone that she recognizes to be different than our regular tone. While she was pregnant, we witnessed a bratty cild that constantly screamed “NO!” at her Mom while grocery shopping. That event really struck a chord with us and we decided to try saying everything but “No”. Of course, this is an experiment, so I will let you know how it goes in a few years.

By: Alexis Martin Neely

Alexis Martin Neely — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 19:37:59 +0000

Love this post Leo. This year, I took my kids out of school and am now homeschooling them. I’ve come to realize that the very best gift I can give them is not the gift of reading, writing and math, but the gift of learning how to be in the world. They’ll pick up the reading, writing and math they need along the way. Unfortunately, for most of us, it’s been the other way around – we are taught academics 8 hours a day and we pick up learning to be in the world. While I sound totally confident right now, there’s definitely a lot of fear in this whole path. A lot of letting go and trusting happening in action.

By: Pat

Pat — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:24:52 +0000

Thanks Leo. This is a very timely post for me. I’m about to have my first child, and am pretty scared about being a first time parent and making sure I do the right things. I know how much a parent can influence a child’s life, so I want to make sure I do things right. Even now as the baby is still in my wife’s belly, we are reading to him and talking.

Thanks to you and everyone else for their additional tips. Cheers!

By: Cheri

Cheri — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 01:46:01 +0000

I would add to the list – See the greatness in them!

It is easy to focus on what can be improved (study habits, interaction with friends, first time listening…)

But if you authentically focus on what is amazing about your child they will see that you are looking at them with those eyes.

And if you want to take it even a step further – let them overhear you praising them (when you are talking to a neighbor or your spouse!)

By: Round-up | Smart Family Tips

Round-up | Smart Family Tips — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 23:12:14 +0000

[...] 6 Things You Can Do Today to Change Your Child’s Life @ Zen Family Habits [...]

By: Adventurous Wench travel store

Adventurous Wench travel store — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 18:21:35 +0000

I need to work on removing my shield and opening up my daughter’s world to a lot of things. When you’re a parent, oftentimes, you can’t help but make things easier for your child.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 14:42:39 +0000

I found myself smiling, amused by how your “6 things” made me feel validated as a mother (validated sounds better than smug, doesn’t it?). My husband and/or I have a 1/2 hour every with each child, separately, for reading, snuggling and talking. It helps that we both work from home, so we don’t walk in the door at night, frazzled by a commute. We eat together 5 or 6 nights a week, usually taking one night for a kitchen “date night” and lose another night to Girl Guides.

The areas in which I have the most difficulty are:
1) in reference to your #4 re: overprotection. We are on the same page regarding “the development that comes from trying complex, risky things and having the freedom to play and make decisions.” So, expressing their opinions and having to back them up, physical pursuits like tree climbing, indoor rock climbing, cycling, escapes to the tree house, and using the kitchen knives, the gas stove & the phone are in, but in my house; internet use has to be supervised, no candles may be lit in bedroom and no going off on their own to find a public loo. Walking 1 1/2 miles to school along a busy road is out. An email address, that will be set up this week on my daughter’s new (today) laptop, will be checked for activity once a week.

I don’t see this as overprotective, but then everyone’s definition of that will vary depending upon the age of the children, the enviroment where they live, the experiences of the parents, the exposure to media reports of drug use, kidnapping, child abuse. I prefer to use “common sense” to guide me.

By the way, I found it really interesting that TV was seen as the villain to be avoided by some of the other commenters. I put on one of the chatty morning news programs every day in the kitchen while we are having breakfast. If something is broadcast that they are curious about, we take the time to discuss it. In the UK, the BBC has a children’s channel, CBBC, which has its own news program presented in a way that children can understand. I can’t tell you how many times my kids have proudly announced at dinner that they learned something new today! From school, darling? No, Mummy, from NewsRound! On top of that, my 10-year old watches the cooking shows, music competitions like X Factor and Pop Idol, and a medical program called Embarrassing Bodies. That last one helps her understand nutrition, bodily functions, the emotional aspect of physical differences, etc.. Not to mention that it cheers me everytime I hear my 6-year old laughing out loud or answering quiz questions to the TV, as if the presenter can hear him. Technology like TV, Nintendo DS, IPods and Wii (which we don’t have, but I would like) can inspire and entertain at home, but it doesn’t go camping with us, hiking, the beach or to a family dinner.

Lisa
(ICLW #100)