Post written by Zen Family Habits contributor Suzannah. Follow her on Twitter.
“Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves.” -Abbé Dimnet, Art of Thinking
Our kids are constantly learning from their surroundings.
They spend those critical first years of their lives navigating our homes, using all five senses to discover what things are, how they work, and what each new experience can offer them. Even older, school-aged children spend a significant amount of time at home each day.
While they shouldn’t be completely left to their own devices, there are steps you can take to ensure your kids adopt a self-directed attitude of learning. Here’s how you can easily transform your home into a natural learning environment–not just for today, but for the future.
1. Surround them with books. It’s one thing to buy your kids books; it’s another to actively engage your children in reading experiences that last a lifetime. If you want your kids to read joyfully, consider the following:
- Surround them with books relevant to their ages, reading levels and interests. Encourage them to read about their passions. Let them choose their own books to buy, or borrow from the library.
- Keep material fresh by periodically taking the time to sort through their shelves and pack away books that are no longer appropriate. Keep these books in a safe place; they’ll want to rediscover childhood favourites as they grow older.
- Read with your children, not just when they’re young, but even after they can read to themselves. Shared reading can be a wonderful learning experience for an older child, especially if the book is just above the level at which they can read independently.
Your kids will find more motivation to read if they feel it’s a self-directed activity, rather than a parent-imposed one.
2. Get creative. You might be the least artistic person on the planet, but what kid doesn’t love to create something special? Provide your children with daily opportunities to use their imaginations:
- Keep a stash of craft materials like crayons, paint, oil pastels, paper, glue, and scissors. Hold onto recyclables like cardboard rolls, boxes, and plastic containers for building.
- Children are naturally drawn to music, so provide them with a variety of instruments to explore. These don’t have to be new; they might be handed down from a friend or relative, or found at a local yard sale.
- If your budget is tight, let kids create their own makeshift instruments from household materials.
- Older children can be taught the basics of handicrafts like knitting, sewing and carpentry. Provide them with scrap materials and let them see what they can make.
- Buy an inexpensive digital camera and let your kids experiment with it.
All children have creative tendencies. Help them develop these in whatever ways suit their personalities and preferences.
3. Be a good role-model. Children love to mimic their parents. If, every night, your kids see you plunked in front of the tube, what activities do you think they will favour? Instead, set an example by opting for some of the following:
- Let your kids see you regularly curled up with a good book. They’ll be more likely to join you with their own.
- Engage the family in a favourite board game or round of cards.
- Suggest an after-dinner stroll, or meet up with family friends for a ballgame at the park.
- Bake a special treat together (and enjoy eating it together).
- Set aside a specific time each evening to help your children with their homework. Routines are the best way to form a habit.
Always keep in mind–your kids are watching. Every day they learn from the examples you set.
4. Give them room to explore. Both inside and outside your home should provide constant opportunities for your kids to learn, both intellectually and physically.
- Devote a space to your kids’ toys and games, but don’t discourage them from playing in other areas of the house where there may be unique opportunities.
- If you have an outdoor area, encourage exploration with a combination of grass, trees, special play areas, and plenty of outdoor toys.
- Purchase a splash pool or sprinkler for hot summer months.
- Older kids will appreciate basketball nets or other sports equipment, and shady areas for reading and relaxing.
- Start a garden together, and let your kids choose which flowers, vegetables or fruit trees they’d like to grow.
- If you don’t have access to your own private outdoor area, schedule frequent trips to local parks to give your kids the benefit of physical learning.
While quiet activities like craft and reading are wonderful, it’s still important to promote healthy physical play every day.
5. Encourage independence. Children learn best by doing things for themselves. It’s tempting for us, as parents, to take over instead of teaching kids how to do things on their own.
- Consider, “What’s the worst that could happen? Letting your 5-year-old make her own breakfast might mean cleaning up cereal and milk spills for a week, but soon she’ll know how to do it all on her own.
- Allow even very young children to attempt dressing themselves and putting on their shoes. Just getting them used to the activity will give them a sense of independence, which means they’ll be more likely to try other things themselves.
- Let kids learn from their mistakes. When something goes wrong, don’t get angry or shout. Ask what happened and how they can make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again.
Remember, our children are often capable of more than we give them credit for.
Make a conscious effort to tailor your home, family habits, and attitudes to accommodate your children’s learning, and ensure you adapt your strategies to suit their changing needs as they grow. Act as a facilitator instead of a director, and you’ll be amazed at how much your children can teach themselves.

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The point about being a role model really resonates with me.
I’ve raised three daughters and while I could be wrong, the most important thing I’ve tried to model is that I’m not perfect. I’ve made mistakes and tried to be honest about them.
On many occasions, I’ve come back to them to apologize after initially being sure I was right. I didn’t care if they were 3 or 13…..it was important for them to see that just because someone is 4 feet taller, it doesn’t mean they are smarter or always right.
This has worked out really well for them. They don’t seem to follow other people (especially teachers) blindly. When they disagree, they say so – with respect but also with honesty.
Of all the qualities, I think I admire that most about my kids.
I especially like the idea of helping your children to develop a “self-directed attitude of learning.” My wife was home schooled, and learned this skill very early on. It’s not something I developed until after college, but it makes all the difference.
Great post! I especially liked “Be A Good Role Model”, that is a really good reminder! Also, “Encouraging Independence” is a especially good one for me. It’s easy to get stuck in the habit of doing things for them, we have to remember that as they get older they can do more and more, and they love the independence.
@Neal: You’re right–being able to admit your own faults to your children is important. I make it a point to apologize to my son or my students if I’m in the wrong, because they do need to know even adults make mistakes.
@Jonathan: Yes, the ability to self-direct makes a big difference, and it’s an important skill for adulthood. It wasn’t a priority in schools when we were young, but it’s being integrated into the curriculum more and more.
@Michelle: I know, it’s hard to let go, isn’t it? I cringe every time I let my son do something new, but it’s such a relief when he finally gets the hang of it!
Thanks, all!
Such a great post. So glad you mentioned #5. It costs nothing to involve children in these daily activities, but it does require patience, openness, and most importantly, time.
Often we are so busy and hurry our children through (or right past) otherwise important learning opportunities… It’s worth it to schedule extra time during mornings or evenings to slow down a bit, stop, and allow our children the space they deserve to discover their abilities and practice their newly learned skills.
This is an excellent post! Personally, our family really focuses on #3 Be a good role model. Everything from our desire to learn new things to our insistence that we spend time outdoors as regularly as possible helps to set a healthy example to our 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter.
However, the best thing that we can do for our children is put our marriage first and demonstrate for them that healthy relationships are not only possible, but they should be the norm. That’s a lesson that we really want them to learn and emulate in their own lives.
I’m a big fan of books. Grew up with them – got them as gifts from my grandmother (used!), my father read them to me. I still remember the name of my first chapter book. I read it in second grade – The Wednesday Witch. Although I watched TV, it was never my favorite form of entertainment. I always preferred books and to this day prefer them above TV always.