Comments on: Fight For A Place In Your Blended Family

By: Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Something to You

Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Something to You — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 13:54:04 +0000

[...] Fight For a Place in Your Blended Family on Zen Family Habits [...]

By: How To Get To Know Your Step Kids

How To Get To Know Your Step Kids — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 21:17:24 +0000

[...] what Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC suggested after I wrote about how to fight for a place in your blended [...]

By: Peace and Projects » Blog Archive » Stop Being a Victim and Start Living

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:18:08 +0000

[...] stopped being a victim of my life and started elbowing to find a place in my family. A place that fit and felt [...]

By: sally yehia

sally yehia — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 20:15:13 +0000

really its good job from you to mother like me please go on

By: Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot

Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:34:39 +0000

I don’t have much personal experience of blended families but I do know that kids test boundaries and they are capable of adapting their behaviour to suit different environments.

Ergo, when change comes they will play up. It’s to be expected. However they can adapt to new rules and different rules in different places. Consistency is the key within your house.

When kids come to play at our place I explain certain rules we have like taking off shoes and why we don’t drink juice and they get it. Similarly when my kids go elsewhere they know that the host parents are in charge and they need to stick to their rules.

By: Melissa Gorzelanczyk

Melissa Gorzelanczyk — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:27:23 +0000

@Shirley – you are so right about the kids and their (many) new emotions regarding stepparents.
Mr. Right has a very delicate role in this – making sure both his new love and “old loves” are getting enough attention.
I know you haven’t met, but he is really something. ;-)

By: Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC

Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:20:52 +0000

Great advice about keeping your marriage first, and the ultimate priority. I hear your perspective on the stepmom not fitting in, but don’t forget that there are feelings on the other side- the kids are worried that they no longer fit in, and that they are being replaced by this new love and possibly even new stepkids. Everyone is so focused on their own feelings that it’s hard to help others.

Step back, take a deep breath, and get to know each other as a family. Children need a set of guidelines/houserules in each home, boundaries and structure, in order to learn the expectations for this blended family.

It’s tough- but well worth the effort!
Shirley Cress Dudley
Blended and Step Family Expert

By: Michelle Traudt

Michelle Traudt — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:26:44 +0000

Great post, thank you! I am part of a blended family. 2 years ago I was blessed with a wonderful husband and step-son. My step-son and my daughter get along great, but there are still the challenges of functioning as a whole family. Especially when there are other parents involved, other houses, rules, etc. Thank you for writing about this subject and giving some great tips to remember!

By: Melissa Gorzelanczyk

Melissa Gorzelanczyk — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:00:54 +0000

@Mandi – What an awesome perspective about your step dad. Thanks so much for sharing it.

By: Mandi @ Organizing Your Way

Mandi @ Organizing Your Way — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:56:48 +0000

I love this post! Although I’ve never been a step-parent, I’ve been a step-daughter, and I love my step-dad more than words can say. I call him “Pop” now, just like my girls do, but I’ve always said that step-dad was a title he should wear proudly. It’s not me saying he’s not my “real” dad; it’s me saying he chose to love me as his own even though he didn’t have to.