Post written by Zen Family Habits contributor Suzannah. Follow her on Twitter.
When children start to show signs of struggling with school work, often parents think themselves ill-equipped to deal with the situation. Thoughts range from, “I don’t know what they’re teaching these days,” to “I’ve forgotten how to do all that math,” to “I’d rather leave it up to a professional.”
Absolutely, there are times when parents are not the best candidates to tutor their own children, and in such cases it’s wise to seek the services of a professional tutor. However, in many cases there are some easy ways to design and implement a specialized tutoring program in your own home.
Here are 8 steps you can take toward tutoring your child:
1. Set up a meeting with his or her teacher(s). Before you do anything else, meet with your child’s teacher and discuss the main areas of need. Have the teacher provide you with a written list of what they would like to see your child work on, and ask them for any resources they can lend you or recommend you pick up elsewhere.
2. Ask your child for their thoughts. Obviously, the ideal situation is that your child will be a willing and eager participant in their tutoring program. Ask them what they feel they need the most help with, and how they think you could be the one to help. You might be surprised by their responsiveness if you include them in your decision-making process.
3. Agree on a schedule. On which days will you tutor? How long will your sessions be? You and your child might decide to work on one or two hour-long lessons per week, or break them into half-hour sessions. Whatever combination of time suits you both is fine, but don’t go for more than 60 minutes at once.
4. Find teaching material. Your child’s teacher should be able to recommend resources to you, but you’ll also have to do some detective work yourself. You should check out your local library and borrow from friends, but the internet will undoubtedly become your best friend. There are hundreds of websites which offer teaching material that can be printed off from your home computer in minutes. And remember, some websites might charge a membership fee, but said fee will probably cost less than just one or two tutoring sessions with a professional.
5. Prepare yourself ahead of time. You might not be a trained teacher, but don’t let that destroy your confidence. The key to helping your child with school work is preparing yourself ahead of time. Look over the material you intend to cover during a session. Jot down questions you have, or parts about which you’re unsure. Spend a few minutes looking up the answers until you’re confident about the material. Most of all, don’t be afraid to admit to your child that you don’t understand something. They’ll appreciate your honesty, and you can always ask for advice from their teacher.
6. Vary your strategies. In the classroom, teachers use many various strategies to enhance student learning. Adopt some of these in your own tutoring program to keep it fresh and interesting. In addition to pencil-and-paper work, try board games, puzzles, flashcards, online games, role plays, reading aloud, outdoor activities or keeping a journal.
7. Read your child’s cues. Be aware of how your child responds to the lesson. If they continually show signs of boredom or irritability, try making your sessions more hands-on, or break them into shorter time periods. Remember, a tired or already overworked child isn’t going to respond well to an extra lesson. Try to stick to your agreed-upon schedule, but be flexible when necessary.
8. Keep anecdotal notes. A simple lined notebook is all you need to keep track of your tutoring. After each session, write down (a) what material you covered, (b) how your child responded, (c) main areas of difficulty, (d) questions you have for the teacher, (e) anything else that comes up during the lesson. After each few sessions, send a copy of the record to school with your child so their teacher is updated on their progress.
If, after implementing these steps, you realize:
- Your child isn’t showing signs of improvement
- You cannot find enough time to adequately prepare
- The material is beyond your understanding, even with preparation
then consider engaging a professional tutor to help your child improve their learning.
In my work with teens and tweens I have found that kids are most open to receiving help from their parents when parents are able to make this time fun and safe.
Two ideas:
1. Have a special snack during tutoring time – make tea or hot cocoa to create a warm and nurturing environment.
2. Check judgment at the door. Kids are very sensitive to feeling stupid or not good enough – make sure your child knows that you love them and think well of them no matter what.
Well, Suzy, can’t thank you enough for this brilliant post. What nice thoughts.
It’s helpful to try to treat children with tender loving care and provide them with unconditional love, especially when they are struggling with homework.
Never let a child feel that he/she is not good enough: give them a hug and a kiss and be like the warm fire-place kids can go to on a cold and dreary night.
Apart from book learning, it is also important to develop life skills and street smarts, that is, the ability to think on your feet and demonstrate good judgment.
This can be especially useful during crisis/emergency situations because of the unpredictability of life. Of course, this takes time, so one has to look at this as a long term investment rather than as a short term solution.
All this implies, of course, trying to cultivate a well-rounded personality. We don’t want our children to turn into carbon copies of ourselves or drones.
So, encourage children to develop hobbies and interests outside of the traditional class-room setting or the tutorial environment.
A great place to start is to be out and about in the world of nature: camping, hiking, trekking and arranging picnics for our precious souls can be a good start. Also, encourage children to go for casual strolls in the garden/park.
And don’t forget to try to involve children in drama/theater, elocution, comedy, singing, playing musical instruments, dancing, etc. Smile and laugh with children too and entertain them. Take them to the circus and play with clowns.
Most parents can tackle assisting in your child’s education. It may take some prep work, but it can be done.
Games are a fantastic way to help with the education process. We use them every chance we get. There is a study that was just released from Berkeley that shows that board games can improve a child’s I.Q. (see http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/nurtureshock/archive/2009/12/10/new-research-13-christmas-gifts-13-point-gain-in-kids-iq.aspx)
Matt Dupree
publisher, FamilyBoardGameReviews.com
Thanks, everyone, for sharing your thoughts on this post, and for all your additional tips.
I hope there are a few parents out there who will be encouraged to give tutoring their children a try.
Cheers!
I am a home school dad, therefore I think I am the best person to teach my 4 children. I know them better than anyone else in the world, I know how they learn, and I know the type of person I want them to become.
The difference is that i think it is my moral obligation to teach my children…not the governments…or even someone else.