Post written by Sherri Kruger. Follow me on Twitter.

Nobody said parenting was easy.

When you first find out you’re going to be a parent you’re thrilled, excited, and perhaps a wee bit nervous.

There is a lot of pressure on parents today to be perfect, to be everything to everybody and to keep it all together all the time. Honestly, I think this is an impossible standard to live up to.

Becoming a parent for the first time can be intimidating. Even now with two young kids I find myself constantly second guessing much of what I do as they each move through the various stages of growing up.

I figure I’m not alone.

To get other perspectives and different takes on parenting I asked 4 parents to share their top three pieces of parenting advice. I feel each of these parents get it that every child and situation is different. With that in mind, you should do what works for you.

Whether your parental status is newbie, to-be or veteran I’m certain a lot of the statements to follow will resonate with you.

Here is the best parenting advice from 4 parenting experts themselves.

Vered – Is a professional blogger and a mom of two.

1. Do not be a perfectionist. A strange piece of advice from someone like me who obviously strives for perfection, BUT believe it or not, since my first child was born ten years ago I have learned to relax my standards A LOT, especially when they were little.

Kids bring so much joy into your life, but also a lot of mess. Whatever you do with kids, if you strive for perfection, you will fail, and make you and the child miserable. For example, when baking with my kids, I have learned to really lower my expectations about the final product. I don’t care anymore if it turns out great or not and instead I focus on the time spent with my kids.

2. Allow them as much independence as you possibly can. This isn’t easy, because we live in a society that really limits what kids are allowed to do compared to our own childhoods. My childhood was in the seventies and I was free to roam the streets and play with my friends every day after school, as long as I was back home in time for dinner. I don’t give my kids the same amount of freedom, and although some say that parents today are overprotective and that the media is causing unjustified hysteria, I just can’t take the risk, however small, of abduction. But that’s for a different post.

There are however other ways you can encourage independence, from letting children choose their own clothes to encouraging them to place their own order at a restaurant, and more. The basic rule: if a child can do something by herself, even if she won’t do it as good or as fast as you, let her do it.

3. Be present. This is the one I struggle with myself. I am very busy building my freelance blogging business, and although my kids are older now (8 and 10) and don’t need me to play with them the way I did just a couple of years ago, they still need – and deserve – my undivided attention when they come to me for help with homework or to tell me about their day. But when I’m writing, it’s very hard for me to drop everything and listen – really listen – to my kids. I’m making a conscious effort to do it anyway – to fully devote the morning hours to work, and then to accept that the afternoon is when my kids are my first priority and so less work will get done.

Tsh – Writes at Simple Mom and is a mom of two.

1.  Enjoy your children in each stage. Don’t waste time wishing they were older or older.  They grow up so fast; it’s a shame to waste time wishing they were potty trained when they’re six months old, able to make their own lunches at three, or wishing they were already in kindergarten at four.  Savor the stages.

2.  Follow the theory of Occam’s Razor, which states, “When you have two competing theories that make exactly the same predictions, the simpler one is the better.”  In parenting, I apply this to mean keep it simple.  Don’t buy a wipes warmer — hold the wipe in your hand for a few seconds to warm it up.  Don’t create some complicated chore system that neither you or your child can understand — simply give them assignments and privileges for accomplishing them.  You don’t need an expensive system that helps you teach your children to read — read to them all the time, and teach them phonics.  All things being equal, always choose the simpler option.  It’ll save your sanity.

3. You are the best expert on your child. Read those wiser than you, and glean advice from parents you admire, but at the end of the day, do what feels best in your gut.  When you truly have your child’s best interest in mind, you’ll know what to do.  Don’t expend energy on needless guilt or theories that just don’t make sense for you or your family’s value system.  There’s no better expert on your specific children than you, their parent.

Dustin – Writes at Engaged Marriage and is dad of two (and one on the way).

1. Your kids don’t come first.  Your faith and your marriage must come first.  A healthy marriage feeds a healthy home life.

2. Be consistent.  Children learn primarily through your example.  You need to send a consistent message of order and discipline for them to learn from.

3. Have fun.  Don’t forget that they are kids.  Tickle them, play catch, lay on the floor with them and watch cartoons.  Don’t take life too seriously and miss out on the joys of childhood.

Samantha – Writes at Mama Notes and is a mom of one.

1. Don’t waste your money on a lot of toys. My son – 11 months old- very rarely plays with “toys.” He much prefers tupperware, kitchen utensils, shoes, boxes and anything he’s not suppose to get into. Even as kids get older, kids don’t need as many toys as society tells us they do. Keep your life simple and encourage creativity in your children with basic classic toys that will last forever.

2. Do your research and educate yourself. I believe it’s our job as parents to educate ourselves on important parenting issues. We can ask our doctors what they think and get expert advice, but ultimately we’re the parent and we’re the one making the best decision for our child. Don’t rely on outside sources to make important decisions for you.

3. Trust your mommy (or daddy) gut. I really believe that we all have a “gut” and we need to listen to it. If you walk into a day care and something tells you it’s just not right, then listen to that something. If your child is acting weird or you feel like he could be sick, then trust that feeling even if your doctor says he’s fine. Trust your gut. Trust yourself. Trust your heart.

My thoughts

I would echo the advice given from every parent here. My own three pieces of advice would be:

1. Don’t live through a view finder. It’s tempting to want to capture every moment on pictures or video but you can get so wrapped up in trying to get the “perfect shot” that you miss the moment. Take pictures to capture memories but lower the camera to really see the look on your child’s face, to get on the swings with them, or run and splash in the water.

2. Write things down because you will forget them. I know I’ve said it a few times already myself “oh I’ll remember when that happened” only to have the date quickly escape me. On the back of art work write the date it was done, the age of your child and other details to help you remember what was going on. Keep a journal and capture random activities or funny things that happened throughout the day. Your kids will enjoy reading about the cute and funny things they did as kids.

3. Just be. There is no such thing as the perfect parent. I think a very large majority of parents do the best with what they know at the time. No parent has it together 100% of the time. When you’re feeling frazzled, like you’re failing horribly remember you’re not alone. Take a deep breath, get on the floor with your little ones and just be.

I want to sincerely thank Vered, Tsh, Dustin and Samantha for sharing their best pieces of parenting advice. Thank you all!

Now I turn the question over to all of you, our lovely readers:

What is the best piece of parenting advice you have for parents?