Comments on: Do You Expect Your Children to Follow in Your Footsteps? http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/ Simple Happiness Wed, 08 Sep 2010 22:59:20 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Tim http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-2102 Tim Tue, 30 Mar 2010 01:55:55 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-2102 We don't expect our son to follow in our footsteps when he selects a career, but we do expect him to live up to a certain level of moral conduct. When he chooses his career, we only expect that he chooses to do what makes him happy. We don’t expect our son to follow in our footsteps when he selects a career, but we do expect him to live up to a certain level of moral conduct. When he chooses his career, we only expect that he chooses to do what makes him happy.

]]> By: Zengirl @ happy heart and mind http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1910 Zengirl @ happy heart and mind Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:08:35 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1910 Expecting kids to follow our footsteps, or achieve something that parents could not, only leads to frustration on both sides. So, I pray and wish that I do not do that my kids. Timely post for me!! Expecting kids to follow our footsteps, or achieve something that parents could not, only leads to frustration on both sides. So, I pray and wish that I do not do that my kids. Timely post for me!!

]]> By: Gail http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1908 Gail Fri, 19 Mar 2010 20:24:02 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1908 Higher education does not automatically mean a higher salary. Very often someone receives one or more university degrees, works a few years, then takes several years off to raise a family (or at least is home during the preschool years). Their partner may have graduated high school and has worked at low paying service jobs ever since and ends up being the major breadwinner. To me, higher education means a better life -- more enriched, complete. I wish a more enriched and complete life for my children, regardless of how much money they make (as long as it is adequate for basic living, of course!) Higher education does not automatically mean a higher salary. Very often someone receives one or more university degrees, works a few years, then takes several years off to raise a family (or at least is home during the preschool years). Their partner may have graduated high school and has worked at low paying service jobs ever since and ends up being the major breadwinner. To me, higher education means a better life — more enriched, complete. I wish a more enriched and complete life for my children, regardless of how much money they make (as long as it is adequate for basic living, of course!)

]]> By: Meeks http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1902 Meeks Fri, 19 Mar 2010 11:47:20 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1902 hmmmm...I would like my children to follow their passion. I think it will be my job to help them figure out what areas they feel they could excel at and enjoy. I would like them to some how enjoy learning, and be curious about the world around them. I do believe that people who enjoy something will tend to be better at it than others, because they do it more often (eg drawing, writing etc) But I also want them to think that if they put their mind to it, there is nothing stopping them from achieving great things. hmmmm…I would like my children to follow their passion. I think it will be my job to help them figure out what areas they feel they could excel at and enjoy. I would like them to some how enjoy learning, and be curious about the world around them. I do believe that people who enjoy something will tend to be better at it than others, because they do it more often (eg drawing, writing etc) But I also want them to think that if they put their mind to it, there is nothing stopping them from achieving great things.

]]> By: Suzannah-Write It Sideways http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1898 Suzannah-Write It Sideways Fri, 19 Mar 2010 01:47:50 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1898 Thank you all for your comments. It's interesting to see such a variety of perspectives! Thank you all for your comments. It’s interesting to see such a variety of perspectives!

]]> By: Liz http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1894 Liz Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:08:45 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1894 Just to throw a spanner in the works here... My ultimate goal is not that my children are happy. There are things I strive for with our family that are far more important than happiness. Just to throw a spanner in the works here… My ultimate goal is not that my children are happy. There are things I strive for with our family that are far more important than happiness.

]]> By: Karen http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1893 Karen Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:19:15 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1893 We have already discussed this and no we do not expect it. If our child has the desire and temperment to be a plumber rather than going ot a 4 year university then it would be silly to try to force him to go to the dad's or mom's alma mater. I want my children to be their own person, not mini replica's of me or my husband. We have already discussed this and no we do not expect it. If our child has the desire and temperment to be a plumber rather than going ot a 4 year university then it would be silly to try to force him to go to the dad’s or mom’s alma mater. I want my children to be their own person, not mini replica’s of me or my husband.

]]> By: Roblynn http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1892 Roblynn Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:07:42 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1892 We have always felt and always told our children that we don't care if they dig ditches, as long as they are happy, serve God and others. I think digging ditches is actually the ONLY job they have not had LOL! We have always felt and always told our children that we don’t care if they dig ditches, as long as they are happy, serve God and others. I think digging ditches is actually the ONLY job they have not had LOL!

]]> By: Dustin | Engaged Marriage http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1890 Dustin | Engaged Marriage Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:38:01 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1890 I try very hard to just keep an open mind and let our kids find their right path. I certainly do not want them following the path that I had to navigate as a child and through my teen years. I grew up in poverty, and I think we can all state confidently that we don't want our kids to experience those kind of tough times. However, I do plan to share my story with them as it becomes age-appropriate, so they can realize it is up to them (and not the circumstances they may find themselves in) to get what they want out of life. And my wife and I will always be there to support them as they figure out just what that is and then go pursue it. I try very hard to just keep an open mind and let our kids find their right path. I certainly do not want them following the path that I had to navigate as a child and through my teen years. I grew up in poverty, and I think we can all state confidently that we don’t want our kids to experience those kind of tough times.

However, I do plan to share my story with them as it becomes age-appropriate, so they can realize it is up to them (and not the circumstances they may find themselves in) to get what they want out of life. And my wife and I will always be there to support them as they figure out just what that is and then go pursue it.

]]> By: Wendy Irene http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/2010/03/do-you-expect-your-children-to-follow-in-your-footsteps/#comment-1889 Wendy Irene Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:26:02 +0000 http://www.zenfamilyhabits.net/?p=878#comment-1889 I completely agree with letting your children be their own people, with their own unique dreams. Supporting them is the best thing we can do as parents, and not expect them to live our 'ideal life'. So often parents push too hard for their adult children to do things, even little things, the same way they did them. It is almost like they see your choice to be different as rejecting or looking down on theirs. I know when the time comes and my children are adults it will probably be very challenging to follow through, but I'm hoping I can keep this perspective in mind. :-) I completely agree with letting your children be their own people, with their own unique dreams. Supporting them is the best thing we can do as parents, and not expect them to live our ‘ideal life’. So often parents push too hard for their adult children to do things, even little things, the same way they did them. It is almost like they see your choice to be different as rejecting or looking down on theirs. I know when the time comes and my children are adults it will probably be very challenging to follow through, but I’m hoping I can keep this perspective in mind. :-)

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