Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Neal Frankle of Wealth Pilgrim.

You can strengthen and grow as a family –especially when times are tough and you face financial stress. Your children don’t have to be afraid or unsure. In fact, you can make the most impact on them and help them develop inner strength in times of difficulties.

I know a little about this subject.

When my father was faced with bankruptcy my parents didn’t do what I’m suggesting you do. He didn’t talk about it –even though everyone knew we were in trouble. The problem was, as kids, we had no idea what kind of trouble we were in. We didn’t know if we were going to be homeless or even broken up as a family. Maybe my parents didn’t want to worry us but worried we were.

You don’t have to in bankruptcy to benefit. If you’re facing financial pressure, don’t make the mistake my parents made. Here is an action plan that will empower your entire family:

1. Understand what’s going on. You are the captains of the ship. Your children want to know they have a strong leader who knows what’s going on at the helm. If you don’t know the extent of the problem the kids don’t either. But their imaginations will take over however. They’ll inflate the problem if you aren’t able to put it into perspective. Is debt the problem? Are you spending too much? How bad is the problem? What does it mean? Are you going to have to move? Where to? When? These are the questions they are asking themselves so be prepared with answers.

2. Get help before you give it. You’re going through the equivalent of an emotional juicer. You’re being squeezed from every angle. Don’t try to ignore it. Before you talk to your kids, talk to a close friend or therapist. Let it all hang out. Tell them how you feel. Sad. Angry. Afraid. Whatever.

Cry if you want to. It’s much better to get your emotions aired out before you talk to the kids. Your fear is the fuel that runs their imagination. Deal with your feelings so they manageable when you speak with your children.

3. Hammer out your plan. I alluded to the questions your kids are asking themselves.

What is the problem?

What does it mean?

Will you have to move?

Where?

When?

What has to happen before things improve?

When will that be?

Make sure you can answer all these questions before you call everyone together. If you don’t have the answers, talk to a trusted family friend or adviser and get the answers. Really be impeccable with your homework in this area.

4. Have the talk. My personal experience is that kids imagine a worst-case scenario that far exceeds reality. Like many people, my income dropped big time in 2008. My kids were really frightened. They had no idea how bad things were or how the new reality would impact our future as a family.

I went through the items above. I told them what the problem was (reduced income from my business) and what it meant (reduced discretionary spending).

I told them that our family vacations would be on ice and that certain luxury items would be eliminated for each of us.

I’ll be frank. Before I sat down to explain it to my children I was scared stiff. I figured they’d throw a fit and complain.

I couldn’t have been more mistaken.

What they threw instead were their arms around me in relief.

If you are facing some hardships, get prepared and then talk about it with your kids. Tell them what the problem is and what your plan is.

Have you faced similar difficulties? What was your experience?

This is a guest post by Neal Frankle. He writes about his personal jouney (from homeless to homeowner) and professional experience as a CFP. After reading this post, sign up to get his updates at Wealth Pilgrim.