Post written by Sherri Kruger. Follow me on Twitter.
Let’s face it when you’re trying to play with an infant or toddler it never really goes according to plan, at least that’s been my experience.
I look at some articles and photos of young kids playing and engaging in some pretty neat and innovative activities. They way the articles make it sound is some of these activities will keep kids busy and quiet for hours. Yeah right. Here are a few of my experiences to date.
Painting with water. I went to the dollar store and bought a couple of bowls and paint brushes so the boys could spend the day outside painting the deck or the fence and just doing something that’s different to anything they’ve ever done before.
Expectation: The boys and I would head outside and spend a few minutes (stretch to an hour maybe) painting the fences. Starting over at the beginning when the fence dried.
Reality: The boys and I headed outside they thought the water in the bowls was cool. They watched me show them how to paint and then gave it a try themselves. Once. They then dumped the water and proceeded to suck on the paint brushes. All up this little activity lasted about 2 minutes and that include sucking on the paint brushes.
Drawing with washable markers. I tried starting with crayons but it would seem Labrador retrievers love Crayons. Yeah. So I moved to washable markers. I thought it would be nice for the boys to get creative, doodle and work on their shapes.
Expectation: The boys and I would sit down and draw shapes, faces, animals and practice our colors at the same time.
Reality: The kids hoarded the markers, removed all the lids, chewed them until they couldn’t go back on the markers but not before trying and getting marker all over their clothes, legs and arms. I’m still not sure if they actually got any on the paper.
Play dough. This is a fun one. The kids are meant to roll and pound and make all sorts of interesting animals and shapes. When I was a kid I remember playing with play dough for hours (although my mom may remember it differently).
Expectation: Divvy up the play dough and let the kids play to their hearts’ content.
Reality: On one occasion the play dough was packed up just as quickly as I had brought it out and I was told, rather enthusiastically, “DONE!” Another time they started out playing fine and it was going really well for about 5 minutes. It then quickly deteriorated to throwing play dough at each other and stealing it from one another. Once that was resolved, enter the Labrador retriever for round two. The boys decided that eating the play dough themselves wasn’t much fun so they recruited the dog!
Now you may think “why would you let your kids eat play dough or feed it to the dog?” Well I can assure you that none of it was by choice. Kids are quick (all parents know that) and the only thing quicker than a kid is a Labrador retriever around anything remotely edible.
Fun activities that I have found to keep their interest (mine are 1 1/2 and 3 years) are anything to do with water and the sandbox. Fill a little pool with a couple of inches of water and add a bunch of cups, buckets and toys my little ones are literally in there for hours. They also love playing with their trucks, shovels and buckets in the sandbox. Filling the trucks and dumping them out again. Good fun!
So next time you try to get your kids involved and engaged in play and expect them to be enthralled for more than 2 minutes remember it doesn’t always go according to plan. Adjust your expectations, go with the flow and let them make up their own fun.
What’s been your experience in playing with infants or toddlers? Does it sound anything like mine?
26 brilliant commentsadd a comment
I really enjoyed this article!
Based on your listed expectations and the actual outcomes, I’m left wondering if the activities were explained/prefaced with your kids?
I am oh so glad that I’m not the only one that has these issues. (Including the eat-anything labrador retriever).
Yep. My 16 month old loves to gnaw on crayons despite my patient “Crayons go on the paper, not in our mouths”, lick playdough and then throw it on the ground, eat the stickers from his sticker book, drink pool water (“Pool water is for splashing, not drinking…”)
Surely he will figure out how to use these toys properly eventually, but in the meantime it puts a serious damper on my best attempts at creative, tv-free parenting.
“They then dumped the water and proceeded to suck on the paint brushes.” Heh…people in the office were wondering why I was laughing for 2 minutes. :) Well done.
In my experience of having 3 kids, all just coming out of the “young” stage, I found the best thing to do is to say “yes” to as many of the “Daddy will you…” or “Dad, do you wanna..”. Too often as a dad when a daughters says “Hey Dad, do you wanna play dolls with me” or a son says “Hey Dad, will you play Captian Hook?”, our adult brain kicks in and says “No, I have too much serious stuff to do to have time for that nonsense. And everytime that happens, we miss out on a great opportunity to PLAY with our children, in THEIR world, by THEIR rules. It so much more fun.
So funny! So true! Initially, I totally expected my kids to do these activities as they “were supposed to”. I’ve learned that letting them do an activity their way (or not at all) is best for everyone. Though I admit that my patience for crayon eating is gone – SO ready for that stage to be over!
I have this to add – if an activity isn’t a hit at first, pull it out again later – 1 month or 6 months down the line. It may be a completely different experience!
This article made me feel so much better about my parenting skills. I have a two year old and a one year old so I totally relate to the above. We got a water table this summer that works great – but only if we use it a couple times a week. Too much and it isn’t fun for them anymore.
I think it kind of depends on how the wind is blowing that day ;-) My kids spent probably almost an hour painting with water, but with some other activites I had high hopes and they completely bombed. Who knows, they can be hard to figure out sometimes! :-)
So funny! I’ve totally learned that the only time kids toys work out “as advertised” is when you’re watching the commercials. :-)
I’m also so glad you wrote this! Lately it seems like every activity I try with my 2 year old goes exactly like you described. For example, every time I get the crayons out she is more interested in piling up and lining up the crayons than she is in coloring the picture. So, today, I decided to just go with it and we spent a couple minutes making shapes with crayons. Even then, the crayons only held her attention for a couple minutes. It’s frustrating because I know she can focus on activity for quite a while if it really interests her – the trouble is figuring out what that is going to be! I am learning to go with the flow more and follow her lead.
I sooo know what you are talking about. There have been many moments where I end up thinking “that’s not what I had planned!”
Kids are so unpredictable!
Great post! Reassuring to know other people are experiencing the same kinds of situations. Your examples sounded just like mine and the most fun thing for my son is water play for sure! Like you say though, we just have to go with the flow and let them play in ways they find fun.
Your article made me laugh out loud as I have had almost the exact same experience with my 2 and 4 year olds (including the dog eating the crayons!). I have found that if I put a few interesting toys on our porch next to our sand box and just let my kids go, rather than trying to organize anything, they play a lot longer. Yesterday they decided they were going on a camping trip and kept repacking and unpacking their “stuff”. It kept them going for quite a while!
Thanks for all your comments I’m glad you enjoyed this post but more importantly I’m glad that you could relate :)
Most of you mentioned that we have to play by their rules and in their world. I couldn’t agree more. I’m finding everyday my kids teach me different ways to play and view the world. Life through the eyes of a toddler is really quite interesting!
I’m guessing that they’re probably a bit young for the aforementioned activities.
This is one of my children ;-)
And why children shouldn’t have markers
I think the biggest mistake we make is always having an agenda for their play. Or even often. The classic “keep them occupied for hours” activities are not going to keep *everyone* occupied for hours, just as not every adult wants to spend hours of their life watching a sparkly vampire movie. ;-)
This is the age range famous for enjoying the box more than the gift that came in the box! Teaching creativity is often a hands-off process.
Eric S – great comment about and for Dads. Plus, it only gets more fun the older they get and you have built a bond that you wouldn’t trade for gold. Someone once told me that you never know the last time your child will ride on your shoulders.
This was so funny to read and, like everyone else, I can totally relate. I get very excited for my 3 1/2 year old twins to try some new project and when they decide they’d rather spill water on the floor than paint with the watercolors I’ve set up it can get very frustrating….if you don’t just laugh at the ridiculousness of it all!
Your post also reminded me of another good one I just read called “When Good Craft Goes Bad” that you can see here if you want: http://mysubmarinetothefuture.blogspot.com/2010/07/when-good-craft-goes-bad.html It kind of made me feel good to know that I wasn’t the only one whose kids won’t follow the plan!
LOL, so true! They only get engrossed in activities that I never imagined would hold their attention. I think it’s all about creating opportunities and following their lead.
Hilarious and so true!
You can add gradeschoolers to the list too. My plans never go as expected.
A favorite thing we do that does keep them playing for a long time is to cover the table with garbage bags and then give them each a big bowl or corn starch, a cup of water and a little tray on which to make their “goo.”
Corn starch and water make a really weird solid/liquid combo that the kids LOVE to play with. It entertains everyone from my 3 year old to my eight year old.
Sometimes I even add food coloring (just make sure it’s washable, if not you’ll need baking soda or toothpaste to rub it off little hands.)
Thanks for the laugh! I knew from the title alone that I’d love this post!
Thanks Kat I’m glad you liked it and got a good laugh :) I love the corn starch idea something my kids would love no doubt. Thanks for the idea!
Heh, I’m suspicious of any activity that claims it’ll keep such young kids entertained for hours. Their attention spans are usually just not that long!
I feel the same way about food that I spend time carefully preparing for my 10-month-old. She’s pretty proficient at feeding herself, so I like to give her new things to try, but often she’ll ignore those and eat *everything* else on her tray.
But that’s how it goes – I don’t want to raise a kid who does everything just to please adults – she needs to find her own way and figure out what *she* wants to do, eat, and be!
So, so true. The thing that would bug me was not so much things not going to plan, but that I would organise something, like play-dough, and my son would do it for two minutes and then be finished. Often any craft activity would take longer to set up that he would stick at it! So I am glad to read I am not the only one.
This is really funny! Well, I can say it’s normal. I really can relate to that as it also happens to me and my kids. :)
But of course, we can still find the best activity that our kids can enjoy. Try to observe your kids first and see what are the things that they find interesting and maybe we can go from there.
Thank you for this! My son is almost 2 and NOTHING goes according to plan. He eats everything I try to entertain him with! Crayons, books, colorless markers, DVD cases, stickers, flash cards, cardboard boxes…