Fellow Blogger Gets Naked!

Yes you read that correctly. In his new book, Buck Naked Marriage, Corey Allan, a marriage and family therapist and former contributor to Zen Family Habits, strips away the unnecessary and focuses on the bare essentials of a marriage that thrives.

The book begins with a discussion of, what I feel is the most important element in any relationship, communication.

What I like about this section is that Corey hasn’t written about the technical aspect of communication (i.e. how to communicate), instead he walks us through how to better understand the messages that are sent our way. I love this because, as we all know, it’s impossible to get another person to change or to speak our language; so focusing instead on what is said, understanding what was meant and responding appropriately is ultimately more important.

From this chapter:

You’ve read this before and it’s worth repeating: In marriage (as well as in any meaningful relationship), you cannot not communicate.
In fact, some experts attribute up to 55 percent of communication as nonverbal body language.

Corey then writes on the topics of trust, love and respect leading us to chapter 5 – Commitment. I love this chapter and I really think everyone can benefit from reading it. Corey explains in a no-nonsense manner the secrete to a marriage that lasts – it’s a simple thing … not easy … but simple ;)

When you get right down to it, marriage is not about happiness. Marriage is about two people growing up and becoming better humans.

I love this quote because, in my experience at least, it’s entirely true. My marriage has provided me with numerous opportunities to become a better human being. I’m pretty confident that I’m a lot more patient, understanding, open-minded, tolerant and loving because of my marriage and the type of relationship my husband and I have.  There are several aspects of commitment that Corey discusses and he also explains how a commitment to ourselves is where it all starts.

Part 1 of this book finishes up with 5 more chapters discussing the elements of honesty, laughter, sex, friendship and compatibility.

In Part 2 Corey focuses on how we can deal with relationship clutter. This includes contentment, rest, kids, family and money.

Now initially I cringed a bit when I saw kids and family as relationship clutter but after reading these chapters they aren’t exactly what I thought. If you’ve read Corey’s blog, simple marriage, you know that he strives for a life of simplicity and tries to keep his family and relationships in line with that same philosophy. The chapters in Part 2 offer ideas on how to simplify when it comes to each of the 5 areas mentioned above.

I found the chapter simple family to be particularly interesting. Corey has a little exercise that really opened my eyes with respect to how much time I actually spend on making my marriage a priority. I thought I spent a lot of time on my marriage and working on my relationship but all I can say is my eyes were opened. I like that Corey didn’t leave me hanging either, he offered up many ideas on how we can simply make our relationship a priority. Love it.

Overall this book is a great resource if you need a refresher on marriage :) or if you’re looking for inspiration on how to grow your relationship and make it stronger. I found for every  ”oh yeah I do that” there were one or two “oh really?/that’s a great idea”.

Buck Naked Marriage is 89 pages and sells for $9.50. Corey is also offering a package deal where you can purchase Buck Naked Marriage and A Simple Marriage for $22. If you do buy this book I’d love to hear your thoughts, what you learned, what surprised you the most and what you’re doing to make your relationship stronger.

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If you interested in learning about more great products I’ve found around the web please check out the Health, Lifestyle, Focus, and Blogging – This is The MEGA-GOODNESS Post I wrote on Serene Journey last week.