This is a guest post written by Hugh DeBurgh of The Passionate Warrior

Dear Friend,

Did you ever notice, while driving to work or just out and about, those fancy RVs (recreational vehicles) go by, with bikes hanging off the back and stuff all over the roof, and wonder what it would be like to be the guy or gal driving that thing?

Did you ever wonder where they might be going, or where you would go if that really was you?

Do you imagine that the folks inside are on a long-awaited vacation? Kids laughing and singing while they drive to the beach, the mountains, or a resort somewhere?

Do you wonder how you could ever afford such a junket? How you can ever get ahead when it seems that you are running in place, with earthquake set-backs every so often for good measure?

Are you getting tired of this life of yours?

I’d like to give you a sneak peek inside a world you may know little about. Or perhaps you’ve heard someone mention it and wondered what it was?

First, I want you to form a picture in your mind. The central character is you. Around you are those people that you most love being around. And the activity that you are engaging in is that which you love the most.

I want you to imagine that you do not have money worries. That your family is safe and you are a model parent.

No. This is not a 1950’s TV show. Those shows crafted an image of what was supposed to be your ideal life. A standard set by the culture, which you were expected to conform to.

No, I’m talking about you living the way you really want to. We’re talking about a lifestyle carefully crafted around the things you love most.

Love your work? Great! Hate your job? Great! Love spending time with your family? Great! Crave sitting in a hot tub with gorgeous gals or guys all over you? Great!

Why am I doing this? Am I trying to depress you by reminding you of everything that you don’t have in your life?

No I am not. Instead, I am daring you to dream again. Honestly. I am encouraging you to seriously consider, perhaps for the first time in your life, the possibilities that your life could hold for you if only you knew how to achieve them.

And then I am going to tell you exactly how you can achieve them.

No, I am not selling anything! There is no catch. And yet what you will do to achieve your dreams will not be free or a walk-in-the-park.

But it is achievable. And it is much easier than you imagine.

The reasons that most people fail to pursue their dreams are typically one or more of the following:

1) They get overwhelmed with the everyday
2) They imagine that their dreams are not realistically achievable
3) They follow the crowd, and the crowd is not living its dreams
4) They think that their dream life will require tons of money
5) Peer pressure keeps them on their current life path
6) They think that guys like me are living in a fantasy of our own – that none of this can possibly be true – at least not for regular people – unless they win the lottery or something.

Do any of the above reasons sound familiar to you?

If you would prefer a change in your life, but you are not currently pursuing that change, ask yourself “Why?”

Why don’t you do something? Are you afraid of failing? Of succeeding? Of disapproval of your true desires by those closest to you? Are you embarrassed by your dreams? Do you think maybe you don’t deserve such a life? Do you hardly have time to read this article, much less do anything else right now?

I am going to challenge you to convince me that you simply cannot pursue your genuine dreams right now.

I want you to write down, on a piece of paper or whatever, all of the reasons why you simply cannot live the life that you truly deserve, starting today.

I’ll just wait here while you do that………

Hmmm hmm hmm…….

Done yet?

Good. Let’s take a look at that.

Oh, I see..Reads a lot like that list I just read to you above, doesn’t it? And I see that you weren’t joking. Some of you have serious responsibilities right now. Stuff that you just cannot blow off, no matter how much you might like to.

One of you is caring for a sick loved one. Yeah, that’s a toughie. What else do we have here? Hmmm. And I see that another one of you is working hard for a promotion. You’ve spent years getting to this point, so you just can’t drop out now. You’d be throwing out all of that effort that got you to this point. You are just about to cash in on your efforts.
And one of you owns a business? Or perhaps it owns you?

Ok, A lot of pretty good excuses (I mean reasons) as to why you just cannot pursue your dreams right now. A few really are difficult to deal with. But most of them are well within your control. If you choose to take control, that is.

Fine, why don’t those of you with the best reasons just stop reading now. You won’t need to hear any more. You have my sincere sympathies. I wish you the best.

If you are still with me, I appreciate what you just did. You see, you just did something that most of us rarely do. You put yourself first.

Our culture teaches us that to put yourself first is selfish. And selfishness is a bad thing. Sharing is good. And serving others.

We are told that you should derive your highest satisfaction from waiting on those around you.

But you don’t really believe that, do you? Have you ever believed that? Have you ever really derived any true pleasure from serving people? I’m not talking about volunteering at the local soup kitchen – anyone would derive satisfaction from helping out people who really need our help.

I’m talking about waiting on those people around you – family, friends, lazy bosses and co-workers, and various hangers-on.

Any of us who work hard are likely carrying an armload of others with us.

Is that fun for you? But you have no choice, right? You have a duty to these people, right? Well, at least to some of them? And the rest you tolerate because your spouse or other high influence individual won’t let you kick them out?

How much of your efforts, do you estimate, are really to cover the extra expense and burdens of these hangers on?

OK, and how about taxes. If you work hard you probably pay a lot of these too. But they are necessary, right? I mean, we hear everyday about the huge bonuses that the top executives at defense contractors are getting, right? And all of those hard working people down at the DMV need to be paid, too. And then there is the monumental waste. But taxes are the same everywhere, aren’t they?

And who knows who else is relying on you to keep on driving to work, and forget about those crazy ideas.

It was all just a momentary daydream, anyway, wasn’t it?

But let’s stick with this and see where it might go. Just for fun.

How much effort would you need to expend merely to support you and those you care about most, at minimum?

Do you know this number?

Minus all of the hangers-on and involuntary expenses that I just mentioned? Now factor out all of the stuff you buy to keep up with the latest things, or just to entertain yourself at the mall. Did you really need that 3-way automatic wizbang device in your home shop, guys? Ladies, did you really need that thirtieth pair of shoes?

And then there is health care. If you’ve been sick lately, you know how unbelievably expensive medical care is today in the US. You need to work just to pay for health insurance.

What else is there? House payment, car payments, fuel, parking fees and tolls. Food for the hungry munchkins in your home, and of course, you.

What you are doing now is a quick lifestyle audit.

You are thinking about why you need to work. And work takes up most of the time of those of us who are employed.

Time is the one resource that you cannot duplicate. Your only have so much of it. And the time you spend doing whatever you do every day defines your life.

You are also considering your life’s priorities. By breaking down the cost of things by the importance that they have in your life, you are discovering what you may be able to abandon some day, and what really matters to you.

How much do you really need to work to support just those things that you voluntarily choose to support?

And what about the not-so-obvious expenses that you may not really need to carry?

For example, where does the vast majority of your money go?

Do you really need that huge house? All of those cars? How much of your auto expense is related to commuting to work? Or running the kids around to incessant activities? Do they really need to be involved in all of that stuff? Do they really want to? Could you achieve the same thing by just letting them have some sleep-overs with their friends? What will that cost you? A couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a bowl of cereal in the morning?

Now you can determine your true cost of living.

OK, Great. Now hold that number.

Add to that the costs associated with a moderate involvement with those newly prioritized activities that you truly love. This is about you putting what you love first. And what about your family? They have loves too! And with all of this newly freed up capital, they can afford to live it up, too.

Now, how much do you really need to have each month to live a life with your loved ones truly crafted by you? A life built directly around what matters to you most?

Not really that bad, is it? And you haven’t really sacrificed anything important to you. Just a lot of fluff and stuff you didn’t want or need anyway.

So, how do you get from where you are to this “dream life?”

One careful step at a time, my friend.

Some of these steps will be easy. Others can be quite complicated. But every single one of them can be achieved by you.

How much energy do you think that you should put into an effort like this? Well, how important to you is your quality of life? How badly do you want to be happy?

You get the idea.

I call this process of re-crafting your life to fit your dreams “Creative Family Lifestyle Design,” and these days I spend most of my time writing about it.

When I discovered this concept, after much difficulty and trail and error, I realized for the first time how huge it was. And how much people like you and me need to know about it.

That’s why I’m writing this article.

I hope that by reading this piece I have stirred up in you a realization of what your life could be like if you woke up one day and decided to really live it.

Might today be that day? I hope so!

All the best,

Hugh

Hugh DeBurgh, The Passionate Warrior, has dedicated his life to the achievement of the ultimate family lifestyle. You can find him writing about Creative Family Lifestyle Design over at his blog, The Way of the Passionate Warrior. Currently he is on the second leg of a worldwide travel adventure with his wife and four young children. Follow Hugh on Twitter or sign up for his RSS feed and don’t miss an update!

Post written by Sherri Kruger. Follow me on Twitter.

Let’s face it when you’re trying to play with an infant or toddler it never really goes according to plan, at least that’s been my experience.

I look at some articles and photos of young kids playing and engaging in some pretty neat and innovative activities. They way the articles make it sound is some of these activities will keep kids busy and quiet for hours. Yeah right. Here are a few of my experiences to date.

Painting with water. I went to the dollar store and bought a couple of bowls and paint brushes so the boys could spend the day outside painting the deck or the fence and just doing something that’s different to anything they’ve ever done before.

Expectation: The boys and I would head outside and spend a few minutes (stretch to an hour maybe) painting the fences. Starting over at the beginning when the fence dried.

Reality: The boys and I headed outside they thought the water in the bowls was cool. They watched me show them how to paint and then gave it a try themselves. Once. They then dumped the water and proceeded to suck on the paint brushes. All up this little activity lasted about 2 minutes and that include sucking on the paint brushes.

Drawing with washable markers. I tried starting with crayons but it would seem Labrador retrievers love Crayons. Yeah. So I moved to washable markers. I thought it would be nice for the boys to get creative, doodle and work on their shapes.

Expectation: The boys and I would sit down and draw shapes, faces, animals and practice our colors at the same time.

Reality: The kids hoarded the markers, removed all the lids, chewed them until they couldn’t go back on the markers but not before trying and getting marker all over their clothes, legs and arms. I’m still not sure if they actually got any on the paper.

Play dough. This is a fun one. The kids are meant to roll and pound and make all sorts of interesting animals and shapes. When I was a kid I remember playing with play dough for hours (although my mom may remember it differently).

Expectation: Divvy up the play dough and let the kids play to their hearts’ content.

Reality: On one occasion the  play dough was packed up just as quickly as I had brought it out and I was told, rather enthusiastically, “DONE!” Another time they started out playing fine and it was going really well for about 5 minutes. It then quickly deteriorated to throwing play dough at each other and stealing it from one another.  Once that was resolved, enter the Labrador retriever for round two.  The boys decided that eating the play dough themselves wasn’t much fun so they recruited the dog!

Now you may think “why would you let your kids eat play dough or feed it to the dog?” Well I can assure you that none of it was by choice. Kids are quick (all parents know that) and the only thing quicker than a kid is a Labrador retriever around anything remotely edible.

Fun activities that I have found to keep their interest (mine are 1 1/2 and 3 years) are anything to do with water and the sandbox. Fill a little pool with a couple of inches of water and add a bunch of cups, buckets and toys my little ones are literally in there for hours. They also love playing with their trucks, shovels and buckets in the sandbox.  Filling the trucks and dumping them out again. Good fun!

So next time you try to get your kids involved and engaged in play and expect them to be enthralled for more than 2 minutes remember it doesn’t always go according to plan. Adjust your expectations, go with the flow and let them make up their own fun.

What’s been your experience in playing with infants or toddlers? Does it sound anything like mine?

Post written by Zen Family Habits contributor Mandi from Organizing Your Way.

I could probably write a post every day of the year on how to control clutter in this area or that space, and we still wouldn’t be able to cover every scenario or trouble spot. Instead of trying to cover them all, I want to share with you four secrets for battling clutter in any space:

Declutter

The first step to conquering clutter in any room of your house is to declutter the space. Having too much stuff inevitably leads to clutter, and it will undercut your best efforts at clearing surfaces and getting organized. This is a hard step to take, but it’s important to take an honest look at the stuff around you and begin to get rid of clutter.

You’ve probably heard this method before, but the easiest way to get started is to take three bags, bins or boxes and label them Keep, Give Away and Trash. Sorting through the clutter will involve some tough decisions, but keep your final goal in mind, knowing that the less stuff you have, the easier it will be to keep surfaces and spaces clutter free.

Here are some additional resources to help you make those decisions:

• Declutter Your Way to a Happy Home
• 10 Questions to Help You Declutter
• Decluttering 101
• 101 Physical Things That Can Be Reduced In Your Home

Identify

Once you have decluttered the space, begin to identify the clutter. Are there stacks of paper waiting for you to take action on them? Are there toys and games that don’t have a home in a certain room even though that’s where they often get played with? Piles of laundry waiting to be taken to the laundry room?

Identifying the types of clutter that you battle on a regular basis is an important step to being able to control it. Once you identify what it is, where it comes from and where it eventually ends up, you’re in a much better place to control it.

Containerize

Ask any organized person, and chances are they’ll tell you how much they love two things: containers and labels. Using containers to group like items is a simple and effective way to control clutter because it keeps things from getting spread out all over the place.

Aby from Simplify 101 recently shared another tip with me related to containers as well. She recommends that her clients use open top containers wherever possible because you’re much more likely to actually use them if you can just toss things in rather than having to pull containers out, open them, put things away and then put the box away. Of course, for things you use less often, a closed container works as well.

Next, be sure to label your containers so that you can find the things you’ve organized. While I love my handy Brother labeler, there are a ton of labeling options depending on your needs, including:

• a roll of masking tape and a marker
• preprinted labels like those made by Mabel’s Labels
• chalk labels
• crafty labels that you can make or buy from Etsy

Touch It Once

Finally, once you’ve gotten the clutter cleaned up, it’s important to have a plan in place to keep the area clutter free. One way to do this is with the touch-it-once rule. Most clutter forms when we set something down because we don’t know what to do with it or don’t feel like dealing with it at that moment.

Instead of falling into this trap, commit to taking each item to its home right away. When you get the urge to set something down and deal with it later, think through what obstacles are in the way of putting it away right away.

• Does it have a home, or do you need to create a home for it?
• Is it something you need to access later, so you need a temporary spot for it?
• Are you setting it down to remind yourself of something later?
• Is it hard to put away?

Create temporary zones — such as an inbox for mail, bills and other important paperwork – for the items you need to hold onto as a reminder, and reorganize trouble spots so that it’s easy to get and put away the items you use most often.

Clutter contributes to stress, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed, and while the idea of tackling the clutter can be overwhelming as well, the benefits are well worth the effort!

Read more about productivity, organizing and home management from Mandi at Organizing Your Way, or follow her on Twitter.

Post written by Sherri Kruger. Follow me on Twitter.

There was an interesting theme amongst the responses to the quick survey I did a couple of weeks ago – (thank you to everyone who took the time to complete the survey and if you would still like to have a say it’s not too late, you can still find it here).

There were a lot of people who felt they were struggling with organization, time management, and just generally keeping it all together.

Reading these responses I could feel the anxiety, stress and, to a certain extent, despair coming from a lot of you. One thing is for certain.

None of you are alone.

When I was younger I started out trying to uphold an image. This image was one of perfection, intelligence, and in general just having everything together … all the time. Some people who know me well may be thinking “Really? well you didn’t do a very good job”. Others that didn’t know me as well may have thought differently.

Truth is, it’s exhausting! It’s exhausting to pretend to be something you’re not and living to an imaginary standard that you think “everyone else” is holding you to is crazy.

No one that matters will think any less of you if you forget things occasionally, have a pile of unfolded laundry in the corner or a bunch of kids toys strewn about your living room.

No one that matters really and truly cares if you have a fancy car, big house, fancy clothes or make a gazillion dollars a year.

No one that matters will think you’re not quite good enough.

Give some quality thought towards appreciating who you are and what you bring to the table in every aspect of what you do. Even if it’s something that a million other people can do, how do you do it differently, better or with more pizazz?

Give yourself permission to give yourself a break, even a little one. Who’s standards are you really trying to live up to? Who is it you’re trying to impress? When you’re saying yes to all of these things you “need” to be doing what or who are you saying no to?

I’m still sorting through the results of the survey but I will post a summary here and address some specific concerns when I’ve made a little more sense of the data. Thanks again everyone! You all rock!

This is a guest post written by Anastasiya Goers of Balance In Me

Spending time with children can be the most amazing time ever or the most frustrating one. Sometimes when I have something on my mind but my little girls require my attention and time I just can’t have fun with them because all I am thinking about is “I need to sweep the floor. I need to finish an article. I need to … do something productive.” Have you been in this situation?

It is not fair to kids to be giving them just half of your attention. At the same time we all know that adults need some time for their “adult” things too. Do you sense an inner conflict here? It is usually in this situation that we, parents, start doubting and thinking “Am I being a good enough parent?”

If you are able to have fun with your kids no matter what then you will be able to avoid this conflict, you will be a more balanced parent and your family will enjoy more balanced relationships. It is frustrating when we understand that we need to learn to have fun (we are used to learning important things like math or spirituality, but not fun!) But the best part about it is that it is so easy to have fun with your kids because it is absolutely natural. Just follow these steps:

1. Plan your fun time. Most kids don’t need their parents 24/7 (unless you have an infant of course) and they enjoy breaks from you as much as you enjoy breaks from them. However, at a certain point adults forget that they spend much more time doing responsible things (working, doing housework) than playing with the children. Make sure that you set aside play time for your kids every day. No matter how busy or tired you are, your kids deserve this time with you. You children on the other hand will know the routine and they will be looking forward to your play time instead of nagging you every 15 minutes.
2. Plan your “me” time. It might sound weird in this article but having your “me” time is the essential rule of having fun with your kids especially if you are a stay-at-home parent. I find that I have the best time with my girls after I go to a Pilates class or have a nice dinner with my husband (without kids of course). It does not really matter what you do during your “me” time. You will be able to relax, feel that you are a person (not just a parent) and let go of that “always-ready-for-some-trouble-to-happen” mindset (it is tough to always be ready with your kids because they are geniuses when it comes to getting in trouble!)
3. Be like a child. The best way to look at the world through a child’s eyes is to pretend like you are a child. At first you might feel uncomfortable doing that but try to repeat everything your kid does. All little kids run in a funny way but have you tried running that way? It is fun! Watch your child’s favorite TV show, maybe you will learn to like it too (I am secretly addicted to Hannah Montana, shhhh!) Look at a bug in the grass with as much curiosity and awe as your child does and you will notice how amazing the world around you is. Behaving more like a child and less like an adult will have amazing benefits for you.
4. Try new things together. You might be bored to death from playing with Legos or spending afternoons on a playground. Try something unexpected together:
   - with little kids you can try orchestrating your favorite songs with the help of pots and pans,
   - with older kids try some fun arts and crafts (scrapbooking, knitting, wood carving),
   - try new hobbies with older teenagers (scuba diving, horse-back riding, snorkeling, hiking).
   It does not matter what you do, just make sure that you haven’t tried it before no matter how crazy the idea might seem at first (safety first of course).
5. Relax about little things. With little kids (who need the most attention and time) the biggest difficulty is to keep them and the house clean. The truth is that this task is impossible (especially if you have more than one child). Instead of freaking out every time your child falls in the dirt while playing outside or throws parts of Mr. Potato Head all over the house, just relax about it. Washing your child will take just a few minutes but keeping him/her away from dirt is an endless job. Getting all the toys in place at the end of the day is also not a big problem especially if your little one will help you (make it a game instead of a boring chore). Do not focus on these little things and have fun with your kids.
6. Spend time outdoors. Playing outdoors is the most fun in my opinion. There is so much to do and just being outside already makes you happier. Look through these ideas to inspire some outdoor fun.
7. Exercise together. As adults we often try to find a reason for any activity that we participate in. With kids, finding a reason gets difficult because they just want to have fun without any logic behind it. The easiest way to find a reason and to have fun is to exercise together. If you have little kids then you can exercise holding them in your hands, put them on your tummy while doing sit-ups or lift them in the air to exercise your arms (your kid will love it!) With older kids you can have competitions of who can jump higher or longer or who can run faster (winning is not the point of course). Being active is a natural way of having fun for kids but as adults we treat exercise more as a chore. Now you can find your passion for exercise and have fun with your kids at the same time.
8. Keep your energy up. The most frustrating part of being a parent is that sometimes you really want to have fun with your kids but your energy level is so low that you can hardly get off the couch to get a glass of water. Lives of most people today are so busy that low energy levels are becoming a norm in the modern world. However, you can’t have fun and you can’t even be happy with that chronic exhaustion. Here are easy pick-me-ups to get your energy to the level of your kids:
   - exercise (works wonders no matter how tired you are);
   - nature and sun (just 15 minutes outside will completely recharge you);
   - good nutrition (fast food, take-outs, a lot of refined carbs, fat and high-sodium products are known to drain anybody. Fix healthy meals, use a lot of vegetables, whole grains, healthy fats and lean protein to keep you and your family full of food and full of energy);
   - sleep (8 hours a day is a must, not an option, for high energy levels.)

Having fun with kids is so much … fun. You just have to let go of the adult in you and get re-acquainted with the child who still lives inside of you. Your life will bloom with a million new colors when you start looking at the world around you through a child’s eyes. You will also know that you are a good parent and you are giving your child all the time, love and positive energy that they deserve.

Anastasiya writes about life and work/life balance on her blog Balance In Me. Download her free eBook The Book of Wisdom: 50 ideas for the all-around balanced life.

Post written by Zen Family Habits contributor Melanie from Dietriffic.

We live in an age where children are glued to the TV, and consumed by video games both day and night. And, it’s now “normal” to spend hours on Facebook or MySpace, sharing everything about yourself, with people you don’t even know.

It’s almost abnormal for kids, to play out of doors these days.

What worries me, is the effect these sedentary practises are having on our families, never mind the unknown consequences on emotional and psychological health.

I think it’s now more important than ever to be spending quality time with our children, and to encourage them to be active and healthy, in whatever way we can.

So, in an effort to encourage our kids (and ourselves) towards a healthier lifestyle, here are three ways to foster active, healthy habits:

1. Give them “active” gifts
This doesn’t have to mean expensive gifts like the Wii Fit, for example (although that’s fun, right?). Very often it’s the simple gifts, which children get the most enjoyment out of anyway.

Some of the tried-and-tested kid’s favorites, include:

• Soccer ball
• Yard volleyball or table tennis
• Rounders or cricket set
• Netball ball, or basket ball and hoop
• Baseball glove and ball
• Tennis or badminton ball and racket
• Hula hoops
• Frisbee
• Small bean bags
• Jumping rope
• Bike
• Scooter
• Roller skate/blades
• Skateboard
• Twister
• Fishing equipment
• Kite
• Mask and snorkel
• Fun fitness DVD, such as Pilates or kick-boxing

These are mostly simple suggestions, but they encourage a bit of fun and moving around, rather than sitting chair-bound, playing video games or watching DVDs. That has to be a good thing.

Obviously some of these suggestions are a little more costly than others, so if your budget doesn’t stretch that far, don’t be afraid to check out the second-hand stores. Very often you can get your hands on some really good gear at a fraction of the cost of buying new.

2. Be active as a family
I think most people would agree, as families we don’t spend enough time together these days. That’s why I love the idea of working out as a family, or taking active trips and vacations together.

You can make this as simple as a Saturday walk to your local park. Or, if you’d like to try something new, how about a family kayaking trip, hiking, or mountain biking together?

You could make it as whole-day event, and pack a healthy picnic lunch. Or, it could be a fun weekend break, away from the normal routine.

Activities like this are creating and strengthening bonds with your family for a lifetime and to me that’s a priceless gift.

3. Cook together
Some of my happiest memories as are child are times spent in the kitchen baking with my mum.

And, while it tended to be chocolate cake, or caramel fingers we were making, I can honestly say that those times helped foster my love for good, healthy food years later.

You can make cooking with your children an opportunity to teach them about healthy food, how to adapt recipes to make them healthier, how to menu plan, and one hugely important lesson on how to enjoy food, minus the guilt factor and “dieting” ethos, so prevalent today.

Personally, I believe these are very important lessons, which can go a long way to encourage our children to be healthier, happier adults.

How do you encourage your children to be fitter and healthier?

Read more healthy eating tips from Melanie on her blog Dietriffic, or follow her on Twitter.

Post written by Sherri Kruger. Follow me on Twitter.

I need your help.

I’ve created a survey to help me get a better understanding of what you enjoy, dislike, or want to see more of here on Zen Family Habits.

I get a lot of feedback from many of you through email and it’s all been very helpful. I would like to give you all a chance to have a say in the direction of Zen Family Habits. It’s always been my vision for this to be a place where we can all share, learn and work towards making our families awesome.

I would like to get an idea of what you’re looking for, what you would like advice, help or more information on. All of this information will help me focus my future efforts to add good, positive value to your lives (even if only in a small way).

Click the link below to be taken to the very brief but important survey. This survey is completely anonymous, you don’t have to enter any personal information if you choose not to. This is only for me :)

Thank you so much for your help, it is greatly appreciated. Here is the link: Zen Family Habits Quick Little Survey

Post written by Sherri Kruger. Follow me on Twitter.

From our resident foodie, Jules, comes a fantastic e-cookbook that is full of simple, quick and no fuss recipes … and it’s FREE!

This 97 page “5 Ingredient, 10 Minute” recipe book is Jules’ first e-cookbook and contains some of the recipes that were featured here on Zen Family Habits, among many others.

What I love about this book is that each recipe (and there are 65 of them) is accompanied by a color photo, just so I can torture myself with what it should have looked like. The recipes are straight forward and for a large part call for ingredients that you would normally have on hand.

The table of contents

the story of stonesoup

what is minimalist home cooking?

how minimalist home cooking can HELP YOU

about 5 ingredients | 10 minutes

snacks & starters

soup

salads & vegetables

pasta & noodles

grain & legumes

meat, fish & eggs

sweet treats

how to setup a minimalist kitchen

how to stock a minimalist pantry

index

about the author

One of my favorites (and I have a few) is the little bailey’s cheesecakes. I made these as a dessert for my sisters’ recent graduation party and they were a huge hit. One that I will be trying this Thursday for our Canada Day celebration will be super simple chocolate mousse. I’m pretty sure this will be another hit with the family.

As usual Jules has done a fabulous job in putting this e-cookbook together. The photos are stunning and the recipes are easy enough for even the most novice cook to put on a fantastic spread.

You can download your free copy from the stonesoup. I hope you enjoy it as much as I am.

Post written by Zen Family Habits contributor Mandi from Organizing Your Way.

Sherri recently shared 11 tips for making summer last through pictures. I think capturing the everyday and exciting moments on camera is an important goal and a gift to our children as they grow into adulthood and have the opportunity to share them with their kids.

But I don’t think just capturing them in a scrapbook or collage is enough.

When I was expecting our oldest daughter, I heard an experienced mother say that she does her best to soak in the everyday moments and memories — snuggling with a newborn baby, watching her children drift off to sleep, laughing hysterically together. She soaks them in by literally taking time to focus on each element of the moment. She draws and memorizes her kids faces in her mind, records the sounds of the moment in her memory and breathes deeply to remember the scents (which could be dangerous if you have a little one in diapers, but it does sound lovely). Rather than just letting her memories happen, she takes the time to really create the memories that are important to her.

What it really comes down to is being present in the moment.

Life is full of to-do lists, opportunities and challenges, and it’s so easy to get caught up in those and miss the important things. There’s nothing wrong with pursuing your passion or working hard, even if it means you have less time to just sit and play — in fact, many people would argue that it benefits our kids to see us passionate about something we’re doing — but when you are playing on the floor or reading a story or even just cooking dinner together, it’s important to be fully present.

So many times when I find myself frustrated at my girls’ childishness, it’s simply because I’m living inside my head and not focused on them. And I wonder how many moments I never fully experience because I’m living there?

Here are five strategies that I’m trying to incorporate into my own life to be fully present in the everyday moments:

1. Do a brain dump.
Sometimes we have a hard time living in the moment because we’re trying to remember a dozen different bits and pieces of information, and we’re afraid that if we stop thinking about them, we’ll forget something important. Take a few moments each day to do a brain dump, and write down everything that’s in your head. As you think of other things and tasks, write those down right away as well.Your brain dump doesn’t need to be neat or organized; it’s just a place to write down those thoughts so that you can refer back to them later to create your to-do list or schedule.

2. Get outside of your normal environment.
Although I think it’s important to learn to focus on our families even when there are other things vying for our attention, sometimes it’s best just to get away from all of the to-do lists and chores. Our family often goes outside to sit on our front porch after dinner because it’s so much easier for me to just enjoy being with them when I can’t see all of the clutter and chores that I “need” to do.

3. Look your children and spouse in the eyes when they talk.
“Mm hmm. Uh huh. Oh wait…what?” I’m embarrassed to admit that this happens to me more often than I should when I’m caught up in whatever it is I’m doing and only pretending to listen to my girls. Even as young preschoolers, they know when I’m actively listening and when I’m really focused on something else, and trying to pretend I’m available and present when I’m not isn’t fair to them. The most effective way for me to avoid this trap is to stop what I’m doing and look them in the eyes when they talk to me so that they have my full attention. It’s hard to be distracted while looking into someone’s eyes (try it!), and it lets them know that I’m really listening.

4. Burn candles and incense or use essential oils.
We’ve all experienced the rush of memories that goes along with certain aromas and how clearly we remember and feel the moment and its associated emotions just by smelling a certain scent. Just as some people recommend using aromas while children study to help them recall the information later on, we can use aromas to seal moments in our memories.

Look for several different scents that you love and burn each one at a different time. Use a vibrant, energizing scent for the crazy, fun, chaotic play times at your house (ours are usually after dinner, when my husband is running around and roughhousing with the girls). Use a peaceful scent when you’re cuddling on the couch reading together or doing a quiet activity like arts and crafts. Use lavender or other sleepy scents during your bedtime routine, and so on. Later, these scents will help bring back the memories of everyday moments long gone.

5. Schedule time together.
If you’re a task-oriented person, turning off the to-do list and get-’er-done attitude may be easier said than done. As counter-intuitive as this may sound, add focused family time to your to-do list and/or schedule because it will be easier for you to set aside that time and give it your all once it’s actually on “the list.”

We all know that kids grow up in the blink of an eye, so make sure you’re taking the time to soak up the little moments and store away memories that will last a lifetime!

What memories do you want to treasure for decades to come?

Read more about productivity, organizing and home management from Mandi at Organizing Your Way, or follow her on Twitter.

This is a guest post written by Barrie Davenport of Live Bold and Bloom.

If you have children under the age of 18, you may not remember the old television program, Leave It to Beaver. It was a family sitcom in the days when the mother (June) wore a dress with pearls and heals to do the dusting, and the master bedroom featured perfectly-made twin beds. Hmm.

The star of the show, Beaver, is a pre-pubescent boy who gets into all kinds of shenanigans like keeping an alligator in his bathtub and teasing his friend Lumpy (what’s with that name?).

Watching the re-runs now as an adult, I have noticed a brilliant parenting strategy on the part of June. Whenever Beaver pulls one of his stunts, her initial reaction is always the same — “Beaver, just wait until your father gets home.” Now there’s some consistent parenting. Delegate the hard stuff to dear old dad.

As a parent, you can probably sympathize with June’s strategy. When children start doing what they do, it would be so much easier to let someone else deal with it, especially the other parent involved. In the heat of the moment, when your beautiful precious one is tearing out his sister’s hair or screaming her lungs out at the grocery store because you have refused her the package of jumbo beef jerky, it’s hard to know exactly what to do.

Most of the time you just want to escape the situation because it’s just so unpleasant.

Scottie, beam me up, pleeeease! Even if you could just evaporate, it’s probably not legal, and eventually you will have to deal with the behavior that is most certainly bound to repeat itself.

After raising three children who are now teenagers (the youngest is 13), I have learned a few things the hard way. Before kids, I swore I’d never feed them chicken nuggets, own a minivan or live in the suburbs! I’ve since eaten my words and more than my share of leftover nuggets.

The most important thing I learned is that parenting is relatively simple if you focus on this one thing: consistency.

Being consistent is harder than is sounds, but the effort it takes is well-worth the long-term results. When children know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you say what you mean and mean what you say, their behavior rapidly falls in line. Without the yelling, arguing and tantrums. If you do your job.

It’s nearly impossible to be consistent when you are in a reactive mode. When you are angry or frustrated in the moment, it’s natural to yell, “You are grounded for life!” But later you might have to take that back. Not good.

The key to consistent parenting is preemptive planning.

As parents, you must determine the expectations and rules for your family that are comfortable for you and age-appropriate for your children. You know your children and the particular naughtiness du jour they use to torment you. If you dwell on your little darlings, you could easily list the expected behaviors that are likely to appear on any given day.

So instead of waiting for your husband or wife or whomever to come to your rescue, take action! Create a plan that let’s your children know exactly what to expect, while you remain a Zen parent — calm and in control.

Here are some strategies for creating a consistent parenting plan:

1. Set a meeting. If you are married, set a meeting with your spouse. If you are single, ask a trusted friend or family member to brainstorm with you. Look at the existing discipline issues you have with your children. What are your expectations for appropriate behavior around those issues? Write them down. Brainstorm other rules or behavior changes you would like to implement.

2. Determine consequences. Ultimately, you want your child to have internal control over his or her behavior. Appropriate consequences begin as an unpleasant reminder to children and later become a measuring stick for ethical actions, as you train your child’s conscience. Review your list of family rules and behavior changes, and think about consequences you would implement for infractions. As you consider the consequences, keep the following in mind:

• Are they age appropriate?
• Are they natural or logical based on the misbehavior?
• Are you able to consistently follow through with them?
• Will your child learn from the consequence?

3. Include your children. Once the adults in the family have met to outline rules and consequences, include your children in the discussion. Older children can have a voice in the discussion around family rules and consequences. Invite their input and ideas, and remain open to making realistic adjustments at their request. The more your children are engaged in the process, the less resistant they will be to accept and comply to the rules.

4. Clearly communicate the plan. After you have created a final plan for rules and consequences, write up a “contract” with your children. The written word has power and can serve as a visible reminder that there are rules and everyone knows them. Verbally review the rules and consequences with your children in a family meeting, and even ask them to sign the contract. Post it where everyone in the family can see it.

5. Expect the test. Now that you have a signed contract, do you expect your children will immediately transform into perfect angels? They are kids, and it’s their mission in life to test you. “Mom and Dad have created these goofy rules. That was a fun game, but now let the wild rumpus begin!” You know they are going to test you, so expect it. Now you have a perfect opportunity to put your plan into action.

6. No yelling necessary. When the bad behavior begins or the rule is broken, your initial reaction will be your fallback position — anger. Don’t fall into that trap. Remain Zen. Calmly walk your child to the fridge door or wherever you’ve posted the rules, and peacefully state, “I see you have broken our agreement about rule #4. The consequence we agreed to is . . . .” This may happen a few times before they really understand you mean business.

7. Don’t waffle or give in. Whatever you do — don’t break the pattern of consistency. Once your child knows that they can weasel their way around a rule or out of a punishment, they have your number. It will take you twice as long to regain the ground you lost with inconsistent consequences.

8. What if you’re wrong? Sometimes you might be unsure about a behavior problem or broken rule. When siblings argue, they always point the finger at the other. If you aren’t in the room, it’s hard to know the reality of the situation. Follow your instinct and knowledge of your children. But even if you are wrong, it won’t kill them to be punished occasionally when it’s not their fault. There will be plenty of times they get away with mischief you never know about!

9. Be flexible and make adjustments. There may be extenuating circumstances or situations in which you let something go. Explain that to your child, and let them know why you are making an exception. As time goes by, you may need to alter the rules or adjust the consequences. When children get older, naturally you will need to make adjustments. But you might find that some rules need tweaking or some consequences aren’t working. When you make any changes, be sure to implement the same family meeting process you did initially.

10. Don’t forget the praise. If you are consistently consistent, you will see your child’s behavior improve. Children like the security of knowing what to expect and having safe and predictable boundaries. With every step they make in the right direction, offer them love and praise for their accomplishments. The will soak it in and use that positive energy to continue to make you proud.

As the poet Kahlil Gibran reminds, “You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.” If you are a stable and consistent bow, your arrows will fly straight and far.

Barrie Davenport is a personal and career coach and founder of Live Bold and Bloom, a blog about bold and fearless living. Download her free ebook, How to Have a Meaningful Life.